TOO SICK Presents: How to Survive Your Favourite Slashers and Horror Icons
- Kathy Enriquez
- Oct 31
- 16 min read
Happy Halloween!!! Totally something different. I love collabs and for this issue, I’ve teamed up with Mister Shock @ Ink Runs Red. We’ve got chatting about horror movies in depth and thought this article would be super fun to do.
With the spooky season here, a lot of people will be turning on their favourite slasher movie, etc. So, what do you think your chance of surviving certain slashers or horror icons are? Here are our thoughts from both my POV and Mister Shock’s POV.
Hope you’ll have as much fun as much as we did!
Jason Voorhees (The Death Curse of Crystal Lake)
KATacombs’s verdict:
With Jason, just don’t go camping! Why would you pay hard-earned money to go roll around in the dirt and spend it with a bunch of other annoying people? Now you’re stuck with them AND a crazed killer running around.
So, if you hate camps as much as I do, you’ll have a great chance at surviving. Now, if you do go … that’ll be a different story. So let’s see, there are three different Jasons.
You got the human one. You might have a 50% chance with this one. He’s still human, but he’s hella strong! If you were me, you’d die. If you’re built like The Undertaker, you might be fine. Just don’t be clumsy.
Then you have the undead Jason and uber Jason; your chance of survival drops to 0-1%. Sorry, but the guy is already so strong, and now you can’t kill him? See you on the other side. This is what you get for wanting to be “more with nature”. Now you can join nature and become part of the dirt.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
When it comes to Jason. Best bet, is don’t go to Crystal Lake. Don’t test the damn death curse to begin with… your ass is grass if you do. But should you try it anyway. Here’s your best chances to survive. But know you’re most likely fertilizer for the campgrounds. And you’re gonna make the grass grow up greener for the next entry in the franchise next summer.
There’s a bunch of weapons like shovels, and bats, and machetes, and such. Planted all over the place. In sheds, and shit. Or just out in the open. Some Jason probably used on victims himself. You need those to stun him long enough to run away. You cannot survive Jason if you are too scared to fight him.
The only weakness he has if he will test you in combat. Jason will let you try to fight him like a gladiator battle to prove you are no match and then kill you. That is your chance to escape.
Find a weapon and stun him. But don’t go for the glory kill. Cuz the kill will always be his and for his glory and not yours. Nobody truly kills Jason he can’t be killed.
But just stunning him and running won’t ensure survival. It buys you time. And it also lowers his endurance meter. Like in the video game. You are gonna have to beat him down like a Mortal Kombat match until he runs out of killer rage and needs time to reboot in the lake, and reload his charge from the death curse.
Which means… once you stun him and run enough times. You gotta land a solid blow like Ginny in Part 2. Or when Clay and Whitney Miller chained his neck and threw the chain in that blade muncher that munched on his head. Then once he goes into death mode. You can throw his ass in the lake, or if you are smart… run away as fast as you can and never return. And go far enough that he can’t come collect your soul like he did to the first ever Friday girl. Alice Hardy.
You gotta be careful cuz he can play dead then pop up like the Undertaker in WWE. Undertaker actually got that shit from Jason to begin with.
Your chances to survive Jason are slim to none. But it’s been done by Friday the 13th survivor alumni such as Tommy and Trish Jarvis and Christy Higgins, and the Miller Siblings. We don’t know if Whitney survived though. The big guy might have killed them both after those credits rolled. RIP - Sam… Winchester. lol. I mean Clay. Haha!
Freddy Krueger (Springwood Slasher - Deceased/The Nightmare on Elm Street)
KATacombs’s verdict:
All I can say is, good luck, have fun. Unless you have insomnia or never sleep again, you’re not going to make it. And if you don’t sleep, you’re also going to die, so Freddy wins either way. I’ll give this a 0% chance of survival. Zero, nothing, nada! No ands, ifs, and buts.
Sweet dreams!!
PS - It’s hard for me to think of Freddy and not think of Groundskeeper Williie’s version of Freddy and how he says, “In their dreams!” but with that strong Scottish accent. I still to this day, quote that.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Freddy. Honestly. Survival chances are literally zero pretty much. Only way you can beat him is building up the resolve to not fear him. Easier said than done. If you can break the illusion of his fear. You might be able to break the spell enough to leave Springwood. But every town has an Elm Street. When your fear grows. He will kill you. There is no escape from the boogeyman… haha!
Pulling him out of the dream world doesn’t do much you just make dream Freddy an awake world problem! And if Jason isn’t there to dispatch his ass. You have an entire pool party on his fucking cutting board. Like in Freddy’s Revenge… don’t fuck with the nightmare cuz nobody wins. EVER… he even bled through into the meta-universe to kill Heather Langenkamp out of the Elm Street canon in Craven’s New Nightmare just for playing Nancy Thompson. His powers are that strong!
He might even kill your ass tonite! lol. fingers crossed clutch that crucifix. Don’t stay up late. Lock that door and hope to hell he ain’t coming for your ass! Cuz if he is… you are about to find out what happened to Johnny Deep on the other side of that bed!! ha.
Chucky the Good Guy Doll
KATacombs’s verdict:
Chucky is a doll, you’d have a chance. I would say a 50-75% chance. People in the 70s may have more of a chance than people nowadays, though. Now, we’re all plugged in, headphones on, etc. That percentage starts dropping. Vigilance is poor for most people. But if you’re observant and usually on edge, you’ll be fine. Because as long as you see him coming, you’ll have a really great chance of surviving.
Yes, he does come back often, but you’ll get better at spotting him. I would hope. It’s like a platformer, you get better each time you go through the level. Sure, you don’t have infinite lives, but again, he’s a doll. You got this!
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
This little bastard is deadly. Chucky is mad dangerous because he can hide anywhere. He’s small and fits in tight spaces. Trying to survive Child’s Play is like a game of hide n seek that ends up with you stabbed to death.
You have to watch your back and triple check for places he may be hiding to avoid getting killed. He also likes to set traps. He does that a lot in the tv show.
Don’t let his comedic nature fool you. This little “Good Guy Doll” has one of the highest kill counts probably out of all slashers and I am talking the OG not that reboot cyborg. He doesn’t even exist in my book. Lol.
Chances of survival are far less than you’d expect. Ha. Very low. He is a veteran among slashers for a reason. Haha.
John Carpenter’s Michael Myers (1978 - original boogeyman / The Shape)
KATacombs’s verdict:
Michael is spooky, especially with that damn James T. Kirk mask on. But at least you could outrun him! I think he’s one of the few where you would have a pretty good chance of survival. Yeah, yeah, he won’t die, but unless you don’t have legs, you’ll be fine. I’ll give this one a 90-100% chance of survival.
Just like me, the man is allergic to running. But I’ll at least run for SOME stuff, including running for my life. Michael on the other hand? Nah, he won’t run.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Chances of surviving a Myers encounter are very low. Dude is the original slasher after Leatherface. But really he set the precedent for all future slashers. He never runs but always manages to pop back up. Jason gets that from him.
He’s strong so if he gets his hands on you. Don’t expect to get away. Your best chance for survival is outrun him. Run, run, and run some more. Don’t waste time trying to hide you’re only increasing the chances you end up dead.
There’s literally like five different incarnations of Michael.
Carpenter’s original Myers is the most sinister. He started the myth of the Shape. Haddonfield’s Boogeyman.
The Thorn Trilogy Myers has supernatural powers so all bets are off. I don’t think that version can even be killed.
The H20 Myers can only be killed by some variation of Laurie Strode. But your chances go up if it’s one of the JLC’s Lauries.
Rob Zombie’s Michael is a freaking berserker. You have no chance of survival unless you’re Annie Brackett. He just likes leaving her alive so he can try to kill her again.
The Blumhouse Michael Myers is pretty brutal. Avoid him. But he’s the most survivable. He’s old and not as fast or enduring. He can be beaten and killed so if you’re not a totally p**** you can probably survive one of his movies. Lmao!
Rob Zombie’s Michael Myers (The Remake Killer / Brutalizer powers are amplified)
KATacombs’s verdict:
Now, with Rob Zombie’s Michael Myers. HE will lower your chance of survival. Maybe I’ll drop this version to about 75%. Actually, maybe more between 50-75% chance. It comes down to how lucky you get with obstacles and your level of clumsiness.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
As stated previously. Chances are low. He’s a beast. Best to not test your luck with him. Hope you’re not in the next reboot directed by Mister Zombie, or it’s your ass mistah postman! Lol.
Leatherface (2022 - treated as originally seen in 1974 + aging effect reduced for superior endurance, and capability as well as proper representation)
KATacombs’s verdict:
So there’s a pretty good chance of getting away from Leatherface or even running into him at all! Don’t listen to random sheriffs that try to “help” you. Make sure you have enough gas. Don’t stop. Don’t trust any families you run into. Just keep on driving to the next big town, and you theoretically SHOULD be okay!
But should your car break down, you decided to trust some rednecks, then your chances of survival will drop to about 70%. At least the one old. Be smart, Be vigilant. Don’t be clumsy. Create as many obstacles as you can while running. If you have good cardio, you should be okay. If you’re anything like me and hate running, then I guess you’ll make a good lampshade.
Now, he’s mostly human, but he does have supernatural traits, so don’t bother trying to fight him. Honestly, just run. His family isn’t made for running either, so stop trying to play the hero. Leave your friend behind, they’re already dead and run LOL.
For the 2022 version. If he’s throwing chainsaws at you, this is the time to learn how to zigzag. Would you run in a straight line if someone was shooting at you? Probably not. Well, you shouldn’t. So this is the same idea. Be nimble. Be quick. If you hate running, now is the time to start.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Leatherface, I feel like as long as you stay hella nimble and avoid tripping falling or running into his family members you can get away. Sally got away in the first one by outrunning him.
But that new Leatherface in the 2022 movie was insane! He was doing stuff I always wished he would. Like throwing the chainsaw just trip you… best to duck and run and put enough distance between him and the Sawyer Family Home. Don’t stop for gas.
Ghostface/Undead Billy Loomis and Stu, as resurrected by dark occult
KATacombs’s verdict:
If you have a good survival instinct, you’ll probably have 80% chance or higher of surviving Ghostface. He is human!!! Don’t be stupid. Don’t be a hero and don’t split up the group. And for the love of god, don’t corner yourself in a room either.
If you’re making decisions like people would in movies, then your chance of dying is pretty high. Honestly, get to a car and just keep driving. He ain’t going to catch you. Don’t do what people do in movies either and get out of the car. You do realize that the car will get you to where you need to go right? Unless you’re in a thick forest, but you wouldn’t be in a car anyway…
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Chances of surviving Ghostface are high. His movies typically end with a number of survivors per film that make it all the way to the end but not without getting stabbed!
He’s human, or she. And Ghostface is clumsy. Could be anybody you know. Follow the rules and your chances increase dramatically. Don’t have sex. Never say I’ll be right back. And the killer always comes back for one last scare so have that trusty one more round headshot ready to go Sidney Prescott style.
Legacy characters are helpful in this franchise. They’ve been here, and done it before. They can help guide you. But if none of them got casted then you’re on your own. Don’t waste your time on the phone calls because he’s just setting you up for the kill. Hang up grab a weapon and try to find him before he finds you.
Best chance of survival is trying to legit kill Ghostface. If you’re badass enough. You can end the movie in fifteen minutes. Chances are highest surviving an entry in Scream than other slashers. No supernatural powers reported in any installment of the franchise.
Ghostface (The “Scary Movie” version)
KATacombs’s verdict:
99% chance! The dude is clumsy and not very smart. You could easily survive if you’re not dumber or clumsier than him. This guy is more of a prankster if anything. You’ll be fine.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Smoke him out, and leave once he falls asleep. You’re good to go. But don’t be in the same room if he starts rapping. Lol.
A Single Xenomorph
KATacombs’s verdict:
You’re dead! 0-1% chance. I’ll give you the 1% because if you’re fast and lucky enough to be near some hatch, you can send it to space. Yes, I know, if you had a flamethrower, you could get it back off. But do any of us walk around with one at the ready? Do we even have one within the vicinity we’d be in? No. If we get sent to space, we don’t even get one. Movies will give you items to use and exploit these things’ weaknesses. Real life, not so much.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
I mean, best chance for survival is teaming up with a Predator like Blade’s mom did in AVP - Sanaa Lathan.
Xenomorphs can creep around. They’re strong. Have acid blood. Wounding one could get you melted. They are the most horrifying monster in cinema!
If you have those plasma rifles from Aliens you may be able to kill one. But if you’re trapped on a planet, or a ship and there’s a bunch. Expect to die. Unless you’re the new MC that makes it to the end. But nine times out of ten your chance of surviving a xenomorph is literally less than zero. You’re dead already.
That’s not indigestion. You’re about to give birth to a chestburster!
A Single Predator
KATacombs’s verdict
Are you Arnold Schwarzenegger? No. So you’re dead. 0% chance of survival. Hell, even the real Arnold will die. This thing even detects heat! Sure, with some movie magic, you may live. If these were real? We’d be wiped out as a race (which, if we’re being honest, I wouldn’t be opposed to).
But it’s safe to say that when it comes to us versus a different race that is more advanced than us in every way, that we’re nothing but dead meat to them.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
I concur. You are so dead. I don’t think anybody survives a battle with a Predator unless you’re fucking Blade. Better be a metahuman. Chances - 0%
A Single Facehugger
KATacombs’s verdict:
I’ll give this a 50%. Most people have the instincts of a fart. But if you’re quick enough, you could probably survive. I, myself, would probably die. But if you’re trained and built to get out of things like this, you might have a much better chance. Depending on where this thing attacks you too, and what’s around you. You may have a good chance if you have enough things around to hit it with. But you will run out of steam and bam! There goes your face.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Agreed. About a 50% chance of getting impregnated by one. If you can put the juke moves on it, or have quick fire aim. You can evade one. But if you stumble on a nest. Get ready to die one of the most horrible cruelly painful deaths imaginable. Best to kill yourself before that happens.
A Room Full of Facehuggers
KATacombs’s verdict:
0%. One? Doable. A whole room?! It’s time you meet your maker, is all I can say. Your chance of surviving one was already low. A room? See you in the next life!
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
0.1% if you have plot armor. Better hope you signed on for a three picture deal in the latest reboot of this franchise. Otherwise, have you ever had an alien embryo forced down your throat before? Lmao. WAY TOO SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol.
Pinhead’s Lament Configuration (The Puzzle Box)
KATacombs’s verdict
100% chance of survival if you don’t open that damn box! Although I won’t lie, my curiosity always gets the best of me and knowing my dumbass, I’ll open it. Then I’ll die. Because once you open it, you just went from 100% to 0% LOL. At least you get the pleasure you were looking for? I don’t know. Worth it? I don’t know. That’ll depend on you haha.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
If you open the box and trigger the Lament Configuration. Your chances are zero. Frank tired to come back and escape his fate. There is no escape from Pinhead. The Cenos will find you and he will show you pain and pleasure until there is nothing left of you to experience it. No chance for survival once you make the mistake of touching the box. If you summon Pinhead you have made your last mistake in life.
Cenobites: (You inside the Labyrinth)
KATacombs’s verdict
INSIDE the labyrinth?! No chance in hell are you making it out. 0%. Again, you may think you can make it out. But you won’t. We are only humans, made of flesh and blood. You can tell yourself what you need to make yourself feel better, but you’re dead meat. Cenobites aren’t even human.
They love pain. Nothing you do will effect them. Unless you have some movie magic on your side, you’re not making it back out into this realm. My only hope is you get some pleasure out of it before you die.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Once you’re in the labyrinth there is no chance for survival. If you master the box and use it for opening rifts. You can outrun them. Like Kirsty Cotton did in the original movie. But eventually it is your fate to be torn apart by those hooks on chains. Cenobites come in different forms and you stand no chance against them on their home turf… INSIDE the labyrinth. Chances are less than zero. They have such sights to show you!
Candyman
KATacombs’s verdict
Sort of like the cenobites, just don’t say his name if you want to live. Seriously, that’s all there is to it. Then you have a 100% chance of survival. Oh, and don’t move to one of those towns that believe him too much. That’s where he draws his power from, the more you believe in him, the stronger he is.
But if you decide to play some childish games and say his name in the mirror, then you won’t make it. The man is smart and he is patient. He will toy with you until your dying day. I actually don’t know how you can escape him. Maybe if you’re smarter than me I’ll give you a 5% chance. But if not, it’s dropping to 0%. He’s a supernatural being. When you’re nothing but a bag of flesh, dealing with anything supernatural means you won’t really have a chance.
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
If you summon him. Say his name three times in the mirror. You’re dead. I won’t even do this in real life. His myth is not worth testing. Don’t ever do this if you know what’s good for you. And if you don’t want a neck full of hook for a hand.
Art the Clown
KATacombs’s verdict
Ah, Art, my favourite slasher. Not of all time. Freddy is. But Art is a close second, even though he’s so new. I have this unhealthy obsession with him. So already, it’s game over for me. But for you? The average human? Also…game over… LOL. You have 0% chance.
You don’t escape Art. He’s proven that he isn’t human. He’s a demon. You think you got him? He’ll return. And he even shows that he’s patient. He sat there collecting dust for years to make a comeback LOL. He will wait and has no problem doing it.
At least you’ll have a good laugh before dying. Because he really is literally a psychotic Mr. Bean. But once he gets to you, expect a gruesome and very painful death. The guy toys with you like a cat toying with its prey. No matter who you are, you are not making it out. Unless you’re Sienna, who was gifted with supernatural abilities, it’s simple: you are NOT going to survive. (@michael tresca - for your sake I won't put his pic here, and I know you'll see this LOL)
Ink Runs Red’s verdict:
Art the Clown cheats. He doesn’t play fair. He relishes in the kill. He will play with you before he inflicts pain and torment and he will get creative with the way he kills you.
Only Sienna stood a chance because her magical girl powers and that mystic dagger. He can die, and come back. Even if you kill him. Don’t expect that to be the last you see of this clown. And your chances of being able to defeat him are so low it’s hardly worth considering. If your name is in the next Terrifier movie. Kiss your ass goodbye.
You’re dead meat. Ha.
Hope you enjoyed this collab!! I sure as hell did. It was a lot of fun to think about what could happen if you were to ever meet any of these slashers or horror icons.
What do YOU think your chances of surviving are and why? Sound off in the comments!
TOO SICK signing off.
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TOO SICK is a joint collaboration between Ink Runs Red & the KATacombs. Authored by
Mister SHock & Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen © 2025 TOO SICK. All Rights Reserved.
TOO SICK™ is a joint collaboration between Ink Runs Red™ and the KATacombs™, authored by Mister SHock (Cole McCarthy – pen name En Pandit Cole on Amazon KDP via total shock fiction & New Babalon) and Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen _ the Cat Empurrer – with her feline co-author Nezuko.
TOO SICK™ is the official series brand identity for all collaborative works published under Ink Runs Red and the KATacombs, encompassing horror culture essays, gonzo criticism, mythpunk scripture, and associated multimedia.
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The KATacombs™ is the brand identity and horror temple of Kathy Enriquez-Nguyen _ the Cat Empurrer™, with Nezuko the cat as co-author and feline familiar reigning cat ruler.
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