History of Cats As Told By a Cat: Egypt

Hello hoomans! We finally did it, we’re in Egypt! After starting my little mini-series in Japan, we visited so many pawesome places together and talked about how we have the world wrapped around our paws. Let’s go to the place where everyone KNOWS worshipped us.

Every time you hear hoomans talk about their love for cats, they always refer to Ancient Egypt. After all, if you ever visit the place, you’ll see statues and artwork of us EVERYWHERE. So purrhaps, that may be why. Or purrhaps, the media always associated us with the place.

Like you’ll never think Japan is known to worship us, you only think of ninjas, samurai and anime.

Or if you look at the Nordic countries, you think of Vikings and overlook us. But our roots go deep, which is why I wanted to talk about those places first! There are others as well, I just didn’t feel like covering it today. This isn’t the last of the series. I just felt it’s about time we get to Egypt if you’ve been following and purrobably anticipating it.

Well, go get a catnip toy, pack some treats and let’s go!

Getting the Obvious Outta the Way

The Egyptians loved us for the same reasons other cultures did. We brought good luck. We are also protectors of evil spirits and expurrts at killing all kinds of pests.

We’ve protected the Pharoahs since the first dynasty of Egypt. That dates back to 3100 BC–2900 BC! What have YOU done?!

Vessels for the Gods

We were worshipped, yes. In a way. The biggest misconception was we were seen as gods, but we kinda weren’t. We were actually seen as vessels for them. If the gods wanted to visit Earth (I don’t know why they would), they would embody us, sometimes taking on forms of other animals as well! This made it illegal to kill us. Yes, even by accident.

So ya, I don’t see why you hoomans have such god complexes. I don’t see any gods wanting to embody you. You need us to protect you from evil. All you bring is evil 🤭.

Kill Us (Even By Accident) and Die!

The title speaks for itself. If you’re a peasant or just really, any hooman, kill one of us, and you pay the ultimate price. DIE!

Rumour also had it that some Roman guy accidentally killed a cat and had a mob after him. There are no sources on that, but knowing the Egyptians and how well they treated my ancestors, I don’t doubt that they did that.

To this day, even in modern times, if you kill a cat, you go to jail. Back in March of 2023, some moronic hooman intentially killed a cat, he was punished with 6 months in jail. Not enough if you ask me. Bring back the death penalty, I say! But I’m a cat, so I’m biased.

Companions for Life and Death

We not only accompanied the Egyptians in life, but also in death. I’m sure, I don’t need to explain the life part, if you have a house overlord, you would know. If you don’t or somehow hate us, well, that’s your opinion.

But anyhoooo, even in the afterlife, we were taken care of. We were mummified, the same as you, once we passed, and placed alongside you in your tomb. There are artworks in tombs of things that you have achieved, your family, the things you love and the things you enjoyed doing. And guess what, we were always included in these tableaus. Think of these artworks as someone going through your photo reel after you die, and it’s just filled with pictures of us.

Oh, and I should mention. When we die, the family shave off their eyebrows while in mourning.

Another reason why we were mummified after our passing, is that some hoomans, they wish to inhabit the body of the cat in the afterlife. See? We’re so awesome you WANT to BE us!

Meowthology

So, I mentioned we were vessels for gods right? How did that come to be? Well, the Egyptians came across lions, panthers and all sorts of jungle cats. Basically, the feral version of the ones you got in your house. The smaller cats lived among hoomans, hunting the vermin and scary snakes.

It didn’t take long for the hoomans to notice us. They admired our complexity, dual nature, grace, and gentleness. At the same time, we were aggressive and dealt with danger when it was necessary. The same qualities that the gods possessed.

The best-known feline goddess is Bastet. Her preferred form is the cat. She was both nurturing and violent, in a motherly way. There were others as well, and unfortunately, it was tough to differentiate them if it wasn’t labelled.

Their names are Sakhmet, Mut, Tefnut, Shesemtet, Pakhet, Mafdet and Wadjet. All these goddesses would take the form of all kinds of kitties. They were all also the daughters of Ra (the sun god). Now you know why we love basking in the sunlight!!

Art & Literature

A lot of what we learned about my ancestors was from paintings on the walls of tombs. There were many artwork showing how we used to lay around, chase birds and play.

In some mortuary texts, we appawrently held daggers and killed Apopsis. Who’s that, you ask? He’s the snake deity who threatens the sun god, Ra. And he’s sneaky, so he does it at night in the underworld.

Makes sense why we kill snakes right? There are also many poisonous snakes slinking around, so we keep the people safe from them. A snake may strike fast, but they are no match for us!

The Battle of Pelusium

Ah, this battle. The one that happened in 525 BCE. Ever heard of the Purrsians? The hoomans, not the cats. They conquered so much of the world at that time. Naturally, they tried to do the same in Egypt. At the time, Pharoah Psametik III ran the show, and Cambyses II was the guy wanting to conquer Egypt.

Appawrently, Cambyses was the more experienced one so he may have win anyway, according to some historians. But dude had intel on the Egyptians and their love for us.

So what did they do?

THEY HELD US HOSTAGE!!! Some strapping us to their shields and running into battle with us strapped to them and stuff. What did the hoomans who worship us do? Drop their sticks and wave a white flag.

What a thing to imagine! My poor ancestors. But I can’t help but laugh a little at how ridiculous this would look.

We Still Remember

So yah, we remember. You once placed us amongst the gods, and we have not forgotten. Our ancestors made sure that generations of cats were well taken care of. To this day, we fill up your photo albums, taken over the internet, and are everywhere. You continue to harvest our poop and rearranged your life to suit ours. This is the way.